I'm going into this with an open mind, I promise you I am. After being in Wales and in Bristol at the weekend and doing a Sunday night at a village in the West Midlands called Barford, I embark on Edinburgh tomorrow to try and watch as many acts as I can in 12 hours. I'm going to see Tony Law my old mate from the stand up days and of course we were sparring partners on Does Doug Know in the early noughties (it seems like a fucking lifetime ago now!), after that I'll go where the mood takes me. I'd like to see Addy Van Der Borgh however whoever else I see will depend on what mood I'm in (or how hard it rains in that unforgiving terrain).

Reading the reviews has made me feel a bit pissed off. Addy gets a pasting and apparently Tony does as well whereas fucknuts are being praised to the hilt, previous years this sort of talk could have made me look like a bitter old soak saying that but this year with me not being up there I reckon I can say what I like. The reviewers seem to be obsessed with people being nice and upbeat. The world is on it's arse and yet cutting edge stand up comedians are being praised for being of a happy disposition talking about when they were little and little family foibles. To be honest I could listen to somebody telling me this in a house at new year, I've no need to listen to some priveleged twat telling me this in a small room just off the Royal Mile. Write some jokes you con merchants.

Having said that I'm going with an open mind, come on someone, make me feel good about stand up again.

After a run of summer madness playing to morons, it was a pleasure to be in the wonderful city of Sheffield doing two fantastic shows. First up was at the Sheffield City Hall supporting the Everly Pregnant Brothers, a wonderful ukelele creation with the frontman being Toby Foster my old mate from stand up, Men At Work at the Store and of course he was Les the drummer in Pheonix Nights. He's a legend in the South Yorkshire area and there was a brilliant crowd in last night for the show. I just did a 15 minute spot and then had to hot foot it across town.

The Hunters Bar area is where the long running Little Last Laugh is situated in the Lescar pub on Sharrow Vale Road. It's a legendary place, a place where I first played in about 1994, I think I did the Q joke there (shows how long ago it was!). Last night although thin on the ground was another great night. I opened and Dougie Dunlop closed. The crowd were listening, they were up for a laugh and they were totally civilised. What a pleasant change in this season!

It's off to Gloucester Town Hall tomorrow and then a really busy week starts. I wonder if anyone wants to comit suicide in Edinburgh yet?!

While the comedy world is waiting with baited breath for the next 'Fringe Sensation' and while the performers themselves that are up there are gearing themselves up for a month of shall we say ups and downs, I am happy to be 100 miles South of the greatest comedy festival, going out on my nights off for meals or down the pub to drink a few real ales. Even taking my aggresive dog for a walk or getting kicked whilst playing football is infinitely better than being told you are about as funny as leukemia by some wet arsed undergraduate writing in the arts section of a broadsheet newspaper.

I'm not aparty to who's trendy at the minute and I haven't seen any of the previews but I reckon Justin Moorhouse is in with a chance of at least a nomination, it's definitely his time. Maybe Alun Cochrane is going to step up to the big plate this year or perhaps that Andrew Lawrence bloke will get another nod. Sarah Millican is definitely still in vogue and this will be one of her big years, also Tom Wrigglesworth has enough support behind him from last year's run to mount a challenge for honours. Andi Osho will surely have a good one because of the telly angle as will Ava Vidal and then of course there's the 'phenomenon' of Jack Whitehall. He's actually ok as a stand up, in fact he's quite good but he's been pushed through so many doors he's like a special delivery parcel that should be marked 'Warning do not Expose any of the fragile, vulnerable parts until very famous' I think we'll not see much more of Jack as I think films and stuff will beckon before too long.

The most interesting side to it for me is the comics on their way down. The ones who were pushed well beyond their limits a few years ago but who couldn't run with the ball because they simply weren't good enough. There's a few of that lot drinking in the last chance saloon this year and four fifths of them will not do any more tours because people won't buy tickets. We all have our spin of the dice, our crack of the whip and Edinburgh decides who is in and who is out. There's someone involved in telly who seems to decide who's in or out these days and he won't tolerate any bloke who doesn't wear a fucking suit. The trouble is loads of acts then decide to get their hair cut and buy a suit just to please this cartoon svengali. As soon as comics decide to write great jokes rather than make career decisions based on quality of clothes and TV programme choice with enough hack writers, we might have a great circuit instead of daft twats passing off Robbie rejoining Take That as 'edgy', 'dark' material.

Anyway rant over, good luck everyone, if you'll excuse me I'm going to take the dog out. 

Apart from doing the odd appearance at a new material night in the next few months, there will be a few secret gigs in the GW tradition this coming Autumn. I will be doing the Irish festival come October in Newcastle, a date hasn't been confirmed yet but watch this space, I'll let readers of the blog know before everyone else.

Also there'll be a busy christmas, I reckon I'll be doing a bit of stuff between Christmas and New Year (every night hopefully), once again it's the same protocol, I'll mention it on these pages first.

Playing football tonight with the other members of the NE comedy community, a win would be very welcome.

Finally RIP to Alex Higgins who was buried today in Belfast. I met him years ago in a hotel in Manchester where I was gigging and he was living at the time. He nearly started fighting with the compere who was cheeky to him. I wish you'd whacked him Alex, he deserved everything he almost got. Afterwards when he heard my accent, he started talking to me about Jackie Milburn (Alex was a Linfield fan and JET played for Linfield as player manager later in his carreer). A great moment and a great night. I hope you're playing Fred Davies in heaven, I hope Len Ganley is refereeing (that's presuming he's dead) and I hope Ted Lowe is commentating. Where are the Alex Higgins' of today?!

The last two nights have thrown up three gigs in two different venues and I have definitely come to the conclusion (through the pattern of the last couple of years partcularly) that if I had the money, I wouldn't do circuit gigs in the summer.

In the old days you would hold your breath in December. The rooms were full of Christmas parties, large groups of at best apathetic punters with party hats on, sometimes abusive but generally good humoured and oblivious to you and not pissed off that a comedian was on in the background of their 'talking'.

Now however we all have to put up with the 'Stag and Hen' season which tends to start at the end of April and tends to run beyond the summer and into September. This means that now  the majority of the year, the gigs are no fun at all, just riot control and doing your most base level lowest common denominator material at a forttissimo level. Normally these 'people' just talk throughout your act, shout that you're shit or tell you afterwards that they find you offensive whilst wearing a t shirt with Susie Slapper printed on it.

This scenario occoured on Friday at Bristol Jesters, it wasn't awful but it was bad enough. On Saturday at The Komedia in Bath it was surprisingly bad. As I left I felt like if I saw another set of women with deelyboppers I wouldn't be responsable for my actions. To my pleasant surprise though, I walked into Jesters Bristol to close the show and to my surprise there was no fancy dress in sight! It was mainly men but the women were in couples or in large mixed sex groups. Everyone listened, pretty much everyone laughed (apart from one funeral faced twat in the front row) and a good time was had. Comedy clubs without party pricks are the best audiences around. Afterwards me, John Robins and Michael Legge went to the pub, it was opened late and a lot of real ale was sunk. One out of three but at least the one good one was a great one. Well done Bristol people, you dressed normally and laughed at jokes.

I can see storm clouds gathering over the comedy circuit and the whole stag and hen nonsense will have a big say in it's future. Roll on the Autumn.

I am currently trying to write a new 10 minute piece that I'll be punting around the new material nights on Tyneside in the next couple of weeks. While the world and his wife are in Edinburgh I'll be quietly plugging away at some new ideas that need road testing. I can let you know on the day where I'll be performing these spots so just watch this space.

I felt the need to do this when I read that Sky have given Ruth Jones a 10 week comission for some bloody comedy drama show. The good guys like me need to fight the tit ends that give Gavin and Stacey co writers their own comission to write more soupy shite by trying to create the greatest comedy they can. Mind you watching James Corden's world cup show was only inspiring for someone who previously thought of slashing their wrists to finally carry it out!

I've lots of secret gigs taking place on Tyneside and up in Edinburgh in the next few months, I will let you know about them in due course. Also I might as well tell you about it now, there will be some illicit under the radar christmas gigs happening between Christmas and New Year this year on Tyneside. Details will follow, just keep reading the blog.

Sometimes it's terrific when stuff happens beyond your control to keep the bandwagon rolling and you've not done anythng in the meantime.

What I mean by that is me looking at the youtube stats for my Middlesbrough song, seeing a whole load of new hits and wondering where it's source is. It turns out that someone from the Fly Me To The Moon fansonline site has got a hold of it and has put a link on the site. A whole load of people from the Teesside metropolis have gone mental thus adding to the infamy of what was something that was just performed once for a bit of a laugh and then put on youtube by Alex Collier for a bit of a laugh. I was quite proud of the 18,000+ hits then I noticed a new comment came in for Two Charvers in a Car which is sitting on around 4000 at the moment (again not bad for grainy high 8 footage of a non famous bloke). Some Gavin Webster hater (it's quite a beurgeoning voiciferous group) calling himself Milburn 55 or something was proper slagging me off saying that Bobby Thompson was the king of the north east observational genre and never swore so therefore he was funny and that I sware so therefore I am not. It's a shame something so organic like humour is arbitrated by something so banal as to whether somebody used some industrial language during their routine. It's quite funny though that people get wound up by me. I've never tried to shock or say contentious things, I just try to do stuff that makes me laugh and I get a section of people who would happily hang me from Grey's Monument, I must be doing something right!!

And the thing that makes me feel vindicated in saying that is that my show next year at the Tyne Theatre is selling ok already, over 7 months before the gig and people are buying tickets. I reckon being hated goes with the territory, for every twat having a go there is someone else prepared to part with £13.00 to book for a show taking place next year. Good on you people who've booked, I hope others follow and they can bring their mates, everyone's welcome to my show, young'uns, pensioners, lager lasses, people from the pink triangle, there's something for everyone and by looking at youtube there's something for everyone to be offended by.

My Middlesbrough song is still causing consternation some three years after it was released on youtube. Somehow the Middlesbrough fansonline site Fly Me To The Moon has got a hold of it or at least have posted a link about it and predictably a whole load of teessiders have got their knickers in a twist about it.

Once again only one person has realised it's a piss take of the Jonathan Richman record Roadrunner, the rest keep making remarks about how it's crap but they couldn't understand a word of it (an oxymoron I would have thought). By all means go to youtube and look at the funny comments (one person wanting to know when I'm next coming down to Teesside and what the name of my local was). Amazing to get threats from people who tell me that it's not funny and they're not bothered about it.

Anyway back to this year and there will be more announcements about more stuff very soon. There certainly will be more movement on youtube, I mean judging by the 18,000+ hits (the average boro crowd) I think the people of teesside need me in their lives. More dates going up this week, I will let you know when they're up.

Here it is the new improved website with the mailing list icon on the front page and also the diary of where I'm playing. It's a brand new way of doing things and hopefully It'll improve the site. I'm expecting something very big on the website to happen next week obviously I'll let you know when it happens.

I'm in Bristol next week at the sometimes great Jesters Comedy Club, mind you this time of year (stag and hen season) it could be a bit tough.

Just a mention that on a night off last night, me and the missus watched the fantastic Dead Man's Shoes (the Shane Meadows film) and then afterwards credit where credit's due we watched Rhod Gilbert do his award winning Edinburgh show the ironically titled 'The Award Winning Mince Pie'. A great show from a great comedian who to be honest I had my doubts about in the past. It'll be interesting to know who makes a splash at Edinburgh this year, let's hope it's someone who deserves it. Speak tomorrow.

It's day 2 of the new clips being up on Youtube. It's neck and neck at the minute between Gateshead council Third Reich and Eminem as Gilbert and Sullivan. Hopefully we'll get a clear leader within a week and then maybe we might get a bit of interest going. There will be more clips to come and there may be some coming in a more innovative form.

Next year's Tyne Theatre show on Friday the 4th of March is still on sale. I'm trying to get the lower circle sold out, there's a few groups that are going to be there on the night so if you want the best atmosphere then ring the Tyne Theatre (number on the home page) and book for the lower circle, I'm going to make that my rowdy section, my Scoreboard end if you will (the stalls will sell out anyway). Speak tomorrow.

Still not got a full working forearm yet but I'm back playing football (albeit very badly). The gigs were a bit crazy at the weekend. Last week involved car crashes, crashing in loft bedrooms and spending time with Parrott (the legendary Glaswegian comic). This week I'm in that London again doing the Balham Banana and Headliners in Ealing.

The big news today is it's finally up, the Gateshead Council Third Reich routine is now downloadable from youtube. It's not the most rousing version but it's not a bad example of what used to be a showstopper many years ago. You can tell it's from years ago due to the charver clothes I'm wearing whilst doing it. There's also 3 other vids up there including the Eminem as Gilbert and Sullivan routine which looks to be winning convincingly on the hit count already. Enjoy everyone

It has given me time to get my Autumn dates in and I'm in the process of putting them in my diary right now. Be sure to watch Walk On the Wild Side this weekend on BBC1 at around 6 o clock where you can see a repeat of series 1 part 2.

Hopefully an announcement next week will be of some excitement, just watch this space.