No blog yesterday. I don't know where the time goes. Probably most of it is spent behind some slack Sunday driver on one of her majesty's motorways. I don't know if the motorways belong to Elizabeth Regina Saxo Coburg Windsor or whatever her name is, but some people should be strung up for the way they fuckin drive! I know it's now descending into a Dave Allen routine written by Neil Shand about the funny way people behave behind a wheel but it's no wonder driving routines reasonate when you're sick of being stuck on, in my case the M1 the A1, the A1(M), the M62 and my favourite because I could probably do it blinfolded the A1 from Newcastle to Edinburgh.

I'd gigged at only Balham on the Saturday night. It was sort of okay. Once again it was all over bar the shouting by the time I'd went on. They'd had a long and varied night and Henning Wehn just before me, had done a good job solid if not slightly overrunning. I went on, took my time and had a good gig. It was a much better performance that Friday night's, I was snatching at punchlines on the Friday in order to go toe to toe with Henning who had proper pissed on them. Saturday though I just played my game and they came to be ever so slowly. I didn't do anything ground breakingly new but it was a solid show and I used up my experience rather than any kind brilliance or inspiration to bring the boat home.

Yesterday was the turn of the second night of Gavin Webster's Northumbrian Assembly at The Newcastle Stand. It was that inevitable anti climax from the triumphant first night a week ago with over 100 in and me turning 42. There was 33 people which in that room can look a bit ghostly. Thankfully a lot of the room is curtained off so it makes for a more initimate show.

All in all it wasn't too bad at all, everyone seemed to enjoy it. There were three acts on the bill, the first one was a feller from Carlisle who's name escapes me. He was very funny. Genuinely dark, one of those blokes who looked awkward and made the audience feel awkward with his slightly pissed off tone and his social spastic type remarks. You could see the chip on his shoulder from the back of the room because of the league of gentleman city that he comes from and his murderer type of voice was bloody funny as well. I turned to Steffen Peddie while the lad was perfoming and said 'I love the psychopaths'. It's not the straight people that say dark sick things to try and be 'dangerous' rather the genuine 'psychopaths' that have a place in the heart of the British with their dark humour. Also some of his facts were wrong which is also funny. Turns out the lad is actually from Brampton Cumbria, home of course to Derek Batey of Mr and Mrs fame, something he didn't actually know himself.

Next week, I'm hoping to make it a stormer. We've got none other than the greatest cockney act there is Mr Jeff Innocent next Sunday at the show. Get yourselves down to that one on the 27th, it should be a stormer. I'll be having a pint or two at the gig, I might even nobble the meat draw and win the fucker myself.

Thanks to everyone for coming, hope you'll all be back. I've got a week that gets exponentially more busy as it goes on. I'm at Glasgow Highlight on Friday and Saturday, by all means Scottish supporters get yourself down to the city of sin and vice and watch a Geordie underachiever at work. Speak tomorrow people.

TODAY'S BLOG IS SPONSORED BY PEOPLE WHO SPONSOR THEMSELVES TO DO THINGS AND GO TO YOUR DOOR WHEN YOU'RE EATING YOUR TEA AND YOU'VE NEVER SPOKEN TO THEM IN YEARS. 

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