|Damn Those Sporting Events|
It seems that we get floored every week at Assembly. If it's not glorious by yearly failure for Home Counties United in the football, then it's a Wimbledon final and just Assembly's luck in it's first turbulent year of existence, there's a Brit in the final! To anyone above teenage years, this is just some sort of freak sentence, I'll say it again 'There is a British man in the men's Wimbledon single's final'!!!!! We've had music festivals on the Quayside, 175th anniversarys for theatres just around the corner that closed fuckin roads off, snow at biblical levels, heat don't talk to me about the heat, every time there's a phenominally nice day it seems to have fallen on a friggin Sunday. Honestly the luck just hasn't been with us. I know I sound like Graeme Souness here but it is a fact. Allied to the known fact that Sunday is and has been a quiet day in the second biggest city in the North East for over Ten Years now and there you have the shitty situation, Gavin Webster's Northumbrian Assembly is still struggling.
What we have done is make it into a decent night. Four out of Five nights I'd say are great fun. Last week was shit so surely we're due a good one. A silly show with silly things and I'm sure it'll get sillier. We have the brilliant Jeff Innocent tonight making his return visit. Our first ever second showing for a headliner. Hopefully there'll be enough folk to play to in order to make a night of it. Do turn up by all means. If not I'll not hold it against you. It appears that people would like to stay at home on a Sunday with their family and who can blame them, they just want a bit of quality time at home. For the last thirty years or so firms expect their employees to not only turn up to the place of work but to practically kip there.
No doubt it'll be the fuckpig Olympics next. People will want to stay in and watch the 3000 metres steeplechase heats rather than watch me fuck about on a stage in a downstairs room at 31 Highbridge, Newcastle Upon Tyne. Actually putting it like that puts it into a bit of perspective. We've never won the 3000 metres steeplechase I don't think anyway (you know what I think of research). I remember Roger Hackney being very good back in the late 70s and early 80s and a mackem feller called Denis Coates who might have got a medal in the European Championships or something but never a Henry Rono or owt like that. I believe the Italians got 1,2 and 3 in one Olympics or I could be wrong.
Anyway I'm babbling now. For fuck's sake come to the show tonight. I'll get some strawberries for the meat draw to keep it Wimbledon. I might even get that squirty cream as well. Good luck to the personality by pass Scotsman in today's final. Speak tomorrow.
TODAY'S BLOG IS SPONSORED BY GREEK AND SPANISH BLACK AND WHITE FILMS WHERE SEXY MOD LOOKING SHORT SKIRTED WOMEN SHARE THE PLOT WITH GREASY MIDDLE AGED MEN WITH SUITS AND OLD PEOPLE WHO LOOK CLOSE TO KEELING OVER. LOVELY STUFF.