|Fringe 2012 Day 1|
A bizzarre and eventful start. I could say an explosive start but maybe that's just me caught up in Olympic fever. Ah go on I'll say explosive, no cunt writes my scripts so I might as well write the bastards myself.
My final preview was on Thursday in the venue itself and it was clearly as a show not quite finished so when I found out there was a reveiwer in last night, I had mixed emotions. I've rarely had reviewers in this early and I requested to the press officer for them not to come till next week but as former sky football pundit and piss taker of women in sport Andy Gray says 'you've got tae gamble' and apparently this was the only night the Herald feller could come. Who knows, he seemed to laugh a lot maybe that's a good sign but you never know. Anyway what the fuck, I had about 20 in and they all laughed, job done I'd say. There was some other person in as well from a faldy daldy website but I never saw two people scribbling so maybe their thoughts were firmly planted in their head.
Before the show, my Irish guests and regular Monday night In Administration footballers with others were ticked off along with myself for talking very, very loudly in the bar that could be heard in the venue. I apologised profusely, there didn't seem to be a problem like, the staff in Stand 2 are good as gold and never bear a grudge. The trouble is people from Northern Ireland have two noise settings- complete silence or fortissimmo. No wonder they produced Ian Paisley and er....erm Ash, aye that Girl From Mars record is loud and so are messrs Stiff Little Fingers and The Undertones if you turn them up to full volume. What the fuck does messrs mean by the way? Answers on a postcard.
After the show I drove like Eddie Shoestring on that episode where he had to get to Anglesey to stop the little boy being electrocuted at Christmas time. I got back to the toon just in time to open the bloody bloody Hyena. Large groups of stags and noisy women and the gig was...........surprisingly excellent. Typical Hyena type crowd and typical Hyena type gig, you were only one joke away from fuckin meltdown but I stayed on it and even did some Edinburgh stuff that kept me afloat. Jolly good show Hyena, more of the same tonight chaps!!
I picked up my dosh and then hot footed it to the more Georgian side of the city centre to close The Stand. By now I was relaxed and ready for anything quite frankly. On the way in some old gadgey stopped me and asked me to sign about 32 autographs, then a photo was asked for and then I was asked to speak into a dictaphone for him. The poor fuck had been there since quarter to five so I'm not going to take the piss. I've never felt comfortable signing autographs, I always feel like a silly twat and I get it over with as quickly as possible in case someone's looking. This was now my third gig of the night in two different nations so it was a case of getting through it.
The Newcastle Stand gig was playable and at times canny good rather than be an out and out blast but it was nice giving Edinburgh stuff another work out. I had the pleasure of meeting Lost Voice Guy, a young feller from Consett who has cerebal palsy and can't talk so he does his gigs through a voice box type thing that he types into. Sadly I never saw his gig due to me being all owa Hexham but I'm sure I'll see him one day.
After the show it was time for a kebab and a night catching up on Olympic results on BBC News 24. I live to fight another day, well I'm gonna have to live for another 23 before I can relax for three days then the new comedy season starts. No rest for the knackers. It's day two today and it's those three gigs (Ed show, Hyena and N'cle Stand) I did yesterday once again. I wouldn't have it any other way. Who wants to be in Jongleurs Wallsall tonight?!! I don't know if there is one but there's bound to have been for at least a week!!
Speak tomorrow, I'm about to embark on Day 2.
TODAY'S FRINGE BLOG IS SPONSORED BY BROUGHTON STREET IN EDINBURGH, A FINE STREET.