No gigs yesterday but plenty of ideas swishing around in my head ready to unleash to an unsuspecting public one bloody day. When that'll be I'll never know but it will happen. In the meantime I can just have a go at other people's ideas and tell them that I would've done better if I'd had the opportunity they'd had. It sounds bitter but at least I'm the only fucker who would admit it.

I've got three gigs this week all compering. I'm sure this is the first week this has happened since 1996 or something that's if anyone's got any cricket stats about my career and my life but it's a strange week all told. MC-ing Red Raw at The Stand tonight, compering a benefit on Friday with Andy Robinson, Jo Brand and Sarah Millican, I know Andy fuckin Robinson in Newcastle!! On Sunday of course it's Assembly and if it's three quarters as good as last Sunday it'll be a proper blast.

Once again I'm scheming for the future, if anyone wants to join me I'll be the old cunt with Britain on the run in the 2030s so you might as well come in now and we'll both be pissing into the tent from the outside.

Right slow news day as you can see. Don't forget the CD launch night on the 9th of December. Speak tomorrow.

TODAY'S BLOG IS SPONSORED BY THE HAMBLETON DISTRICT OF NORTH YORKSHIRE.

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