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Yes it's after the lord mayor's show for me. Yesterday on my birthday, I debuted my residency show 'Gavin Webster's Northumbrian Assembly' at The Stand in Newcastle. More on that later. First of all sorry for no blog on Saturday or yesterday. It gets very busy at the weekends and this last weekend was a right down then up then back down again drivefest. I felt like Ian Botham doing some sort of ridiculous charity event in the 80s. Friday was Aylesbury, Saturday Aberdeen then last night back to Newcastle. Not the best scheduling but you must take work when it comes otherwise you can talk your way out of everything and you end up unemployed, I've seen it happen.
Friday was a typical Friday on the roads. Stop start stop and then 18 hours later I racked up in Aylesbury. Poetic licence is allowed in this job! Aylesbury Civic is no more. Always a gig where you got no response, I once did it with Daniel Kitson back in the early noughties and that was a typical silent one, I assumed that the same sort of people would sit in sombre silence at this gig being that the newly built council owned venue is just over the road from the now demolished Civic. Well stone me as they said back in the 30s probably in places like Aylesbury this gig was none of those things. I compered and had a great time. A responsive crowd, they took to my nonsense really well despite me introducing a not great bill to say the least (more on that if you want). I was looked after with beer and sandwiches and crisps and took to the road after the show staying over in a place just off the M1 in Nottinghamshire or Derbyshire (who cares, it's only Cloughie, a Northumbrian that made these places famous). Sitting with a bottle of whisky in bed watching Ken Dodd on Heroes Of Comedy on Channel 4 is seedy but wonderful. Sarah Millican, Ross Noble, you don't know what you're missing refusing to take Alcohol!
On Saturday I drove home and then drove onwards to Aberdeen. I was almost following Bonnie Prince Charlie's road to his doom. You know Derby up to Culloden (I know it's Aberdeen I was headed but go with it). The granite city looked resplendent with it's lit up buildings, monuments and wide streets, well street! Once you get out the city centre though, it's like a fuckin shanty town with what looks like army dormantries littering the outskirts. Torry?!! I wouldn't walk through Torry even with Jeff Innocent and that Gary bloke from Glasgow who was jailed for robbing books by my side, Aberdeen a tough old Highland fishing port with North Sea oil and people that all speak monotone like they work at the civil service. A fine gig though. It was in a small room upstairs in a rough old tatty pub called The Blue Lamp. I love pubs like this. Wooden panelling and a cafe style lino floor. Looks like the last time it was tarted up Fergie was manager up there. Mind you a sign of the times, I was on with a 17 year old who was there with his dad. Afterwards we chatted with the locals who'd seen the gig outside then realised that wasn't such a good idea, the words planks and short spring to mind if you know what I mean. Afterwards we had a laugh at the promoter's house and that's definitely one for the book. It turned 12, I turned 42 and managed to get to sleep pretty much the next morning.
I was just running on adrenaline yesterday. Maybe we should just put that in the tank instead of stolen farmer's red diesel, I bet that's only 50 pence a fuckin gallon and I bet it doesn't drink it round the doors. I drove home from the granite city and got back around 2 only to go to town to The Back Page store up at The Darn Crook (Chinatown) to get a load of postcards of ex Newcastle players and then get across to Tescos for some Pease pudding. These were quiz prizes by the way, I wasn't intending to get pictures of Kenny Wharton or Irving Nattress up on my wall held up by pease pudding, although even though they don't get into the Beardsley/Ginola category they're infinitely better than anything served up by our near neigbours over the last 40 years and by that I don't mean Gateshead, Harkus and Bowey could've pulled on the black and white shirt, mind you they might have been sweating Brown Ale with twenty minutes to go.
The gig last night was a solid start. A bit chaotic but good crack. Some of the crowd were great, I recognised a few. There were some weird fuckers, we'll soon filter out the wankers who will vote with their feet. If you don't like what I do, you tend to fuckin hate it so the haters will not return. A good gig all round, if you want to know more about it, then come along next week or the week after or whenever, it's only £6 and even less to members. On the 27th of this month, the one and only Jeff Innocent is on. Don't miss him, he's a very funny man, and he doesn't suffer fuckwitts, that's why some don't take to him.
Right I'm off, Prince Charles is 63 today, a couple of years time and he'll be on the state pension, sorry he's been on that all his life, up the revolution. Let's find a direct descendant of King Oswald, it's probably a steward in Wallsend Coronation club and march on Westminster. Speak tomorrow.
TODAY'S BLOG IS SPONSORED BY HILTON VALENTINE, GUITARIST IN THE ANIMALS AND POSSESOR OF A GREAT NAME.
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