|Peter Glaze Invented D'oh|
I see this Tim Minchin feller is in trouble again from the people who buy tickets for his shows for some blasphemous comment the daft cunt has made. He's quite keen on reitterating that there's no god, I honestly don't know who's fuckin interested either way but there he goes with his plinky plonky shite, brown tongueing on chat shows and telling us that Christians are evil. It seems that all these people say something 'edgy' just at the same time that there's some tickets that need selling for a new Arena tour, funny that. It's weird that their 'outrageous' and 'radical' views aren't volunteered when they're having a year off going to Bali or skiing in Switzerland or maybe just enjoying the profits from their tours in their massive house because some sponges swallowed the anti organised religion rhetoric. I hate god, god is a twat, but of course he doesn't exist, god who?!!, god save us from the fictional god who is a twat, the Sheffield tickets are still on sale by the way fans.
These are the same Arena tours that are strangling the very life out of the regular circuit. I'd say it's going to get worse. Quite frankly there's far too much of it. Arena tours, city hall type tours, matcham theatre type tours, a Jongleurs in town, if not a Highlight otherwise a more alternative purpose built club, a rogue promoter putting on gigs in the alternative club or the local matcham theatre and in local pubs, a smaller local promoter putting gigs on in a more downmarket local pub and then at the bottom of the food chain several open mike nights with a load of local amateur acts putting very regular stuff on to their mates, other acts and a few comedy junkies that don't want to pay more than two quid. Very often when it gets bigger in number it brings forth fights and arguments and any kind of unity begins to crumble.
It's definitely not underground anymore, it's certainly not alternative and I can see it going the same way as popular music in the 80s. No one wanted professional musicians anymore, they just wanted keen middle aged Biology teachers doing it for next to fuck all. Then it was all 'Raw Hide' and 'Black Magic Woman' and endless covers of Yardbirds and Cream hits alongside a bit of 'Money For Nothing' by Dire Straights and 'Hold Your Head Up' by Argent (that would be their more contempary section of the show!).
I'll be frank here, if you've got nothing to say comedy wise then fuck off!! If all you've got to offer is stuff about your mate being mental, your Dad being mental, what someone said on the train once being mental, stuff about relationships that we've all heard before, stuff that's just like the people on the telly, autobiographical pish that is perhaps even made up, anything like that then just keep it for the pub. Of course it's your right to get up and do what you want which is what we hear ad nauseum from anyone under 35 but fuck's sake have some decorum! I realised at a very young age that I couldn't play football professionally or even semi professionally so I took to watching it regularly and playing on a Sunday morning for fun with others of my standard. I didn't bug the North East's clubs with letters, turn up to their training sessions and hang around with a strip on on the touchline just in case! I also didn't bother trying to endlessly start groups or sending my lyrics to record companies when I realised that aside from playing a few chords, I wasn't a musician or a songwriter of any note. Get real young comics, make a proper living out of it first before you think you can start professing to be part of some kind of crazy scene.
Right off for some breakfast. People who owe me money, get your skates on. Speak tomorrow.
TODAY'S BLOG IS SPONSORED BY THE EGG AND SPOON RACE. NEVER SOLD THEIR RIGHTS TO TV. GOOD ON THEM.
written by David Macbeth , July 19, 2012
Too right Gavin! They should leave it to professionals like us.