He's got to be so macho, he's got to be big and strong enough to turn me on. Yes what a record! I heard it last night at Glasgow Highlight at the 'disco' afterwards that I never normally stop for. Even the poofs don't play this one in their clubs, well as far as I know they don't hardy hardy ha. Actually I went to a set of gay pubs for a night out once about 17 years ago with a mate of mine and his girlfriend. It was in the pink triangle in Newcastle, one the thriving parts of town. As far as I remember it was a good night, the bars were very full and they're all still going strong now with more additions and several more nightclubs where you can see the people who've just gone out of X Factor making an appearance on the one week they're still popular.

Anyway back to 'macho' the big 1980s hit for Sinnitta or Sinita or however you spell the name of the talent free slapper (I've been pulled up for spelling in this blog once before!). It was on before a couple of other dubious record choices. One time someone told me that the last song of the night was 'Sweet Home Alabama' by Lynard Skynard in that club and loads of toothless neds and ned-esses sang along with all their collective hearts before fucking off to Belshill or Parkhead or whatever war zone they're from on the bus afterwards.

I'd better go back to the beginning though and that would be Thursday due to the fact that there was no blog yesterday. I was in Bangor doing their new student union just up the road from the old tatty one that's just been pulled down with fuck all in it's place (the government cuts are really showing now!). I was compering, not something I love doing but something I'll do to keep my hand in. The first act hadn't heard of me and I hadn't heard of him. He was from Leicester, comedians shouldn't come from Leicester for fuck's sake, but there he was Leicestering it up on stage. He never really mentioned it about coming from Leicester but there was something very Leicester-ish about his act dull, grey, uninspiring. Loads of stories and stuff about his family and little tales of 'stuff that happened' but it was all so Radio 1 and typical of today's acts. He was young, thin, boyish looking and just looked like he'd never fucked up, never lived, never been thrown the lifeline of stand up because he was sackless at everything else, never done nowt. he should have a suit on and be working for AA insurance not travelling the country making audiences laugh or in his case quietly titter nervously. I think when Malcolm Hardy drowned, something drowned with him and that was the comedian as the breed apart. Nowadays you could round up a few swishy hairs in a coffee house, get them to tell people about their confessions and hey presto, another MTV presenter who does 'stand up'.

After he was on there was an improv group. Need I say more?!! It's not my sort of thing but fuck me it went on forever, more or less pissing on the chips of Steve Hall who was closing and who is very funny. I managed to get a flyer and drove through the night listening to my talking book. 

Yesterday I didn't stop with all the admin work and stuff, something I'll have to get on with today. At 6 I drove to Glesca to do night one of my two nights at Highlight. It was a good show all told, Martin Mor compered, Nathon Caton opened and I closed. We got away with it, they were okay people, there was about 300+ there and despite old Stock Aitken and Waterman hits being played afterwards (I genuinely don't mind that song, it pisses people off that say they like 'proper pop music' which to me is just as inane as that pish!) I think it's a canny club.

Right if you're in Newcastle tomorrow, get along to The Stand and see me with two newer acts and to close the fantastic Jeff Innocent. See you all there.

TODAY'S BLOG IS SPONSORED BY OLD FASHIONED PIES FROM THE CHIP SHOP. WHO THE FUCK MAKES THEM TYPES OF PIES THESE DAYS? PLEASE LET ME KNOW AND I'LL ORDER SOME. 

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Comments (1)

Pies!
written by Mark Rough , November 26, 2011

Try living in the north west/Yorkshire they only do meat n potato. Proper mince pies with gravy are a rarity.
Try Gelders in Roker or Tom Bells of Washington both available at any branch of Dixons the pork shop