Sometimes waiting for money is enough to drive one to madness, something that is happening to me at the moment, however losing your actual wit would be awful. Yes I know some cunt reading this will no doubt say 'oh har har Webster you had no wit in the first place', people like that love going on football forums of teams they don't support and trip up the regulars with silly comments about their club, these same types of people are critics in Edinburgh and for a parting shot undermine the title of the show with their witty take on it, fuck off just fuck off or I'll set the dogs on to you, you spectacular bell ends.

Herbert Lom was always at his wits end with Inspector Clouseau and it didn't do his character any good however playing him must have been alright as he lasted till the ripe old age of 95. The old fucker died last week, still he obviously had a good life because he was sorrounded by his family at the end. Good on you Lom or your real name Herbert Charles Angelo Kuchacevich ze Schluderpacheru which would net you a great score at Scrabble.

I'll gladly be skint as long as I've enough to eat and have a long life than stress one's life away only to be carted off in a box in my 50s. Ironically enough this is what happened to Peter Sellers, the big star of the Pink Panther films that Lom only co starred in.

Last night in Leeds was no stress at all. I kicked ass on the first gig at The Original Oak in Headingley and then did a nice one down the road at The Library in student land. They listened, they got into it, they laughed in the right places, I got cash, I went home. If only the whole circuit was like this, we'd all be laughing.

Right I am off now to Bournemouth. Not the best gig in the world but then again I'm not the best comic. See I got in first before some pedantic tourett-ish moron did. Speak tomorrow.

TODAY'S BLOG IS SPONSORED BY 'THIS MORNING' GUESTS WHO ARE INSPIRING EXAMPLES OF HUMAN COURAGE DESIGNED TO STOP US WHINGEING. I KNOW WHAT THEY'RE UP TO. 

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