|You Wouldn't Be Standing Here|
Yes the old you wouldn't be standing here line. I was once thrown that one at The Hyena (the old one dowstairs which was believe it or not one of the best rooms in the country) by a member of staff who shall remain nameless. She said to me 'you wouldn't be standing here if it wasn't for Christine Alderson', I know who she is but does anyone else? Answers on a fuckin postcard, preferably one with your home town on it.
I once went to get a postcard in Leicester and what a job I had. Alright you'll get a lot of Tyne Bridge stuff up here and Millenium Bridge stuff and indeed bridge montages alongside stuff like Grey's Monumnent, the Monument Metro, Grey Street and the Castle Keep probably on a five photo card with a bridge on it but honestly at least it's not Leicester! Eventually I found a post office on Granby Street (their main street) with a few cards of Leicestershire in the corner. The only one of Leicester itself was a shot of the shopping centre that looked like it was in a catalogue. Talk about crappy civic pride. Maybe if it wasn't for some tit who designed that shopping centre Sue Townsend wouldn't be standing here today (she's from Leicester). Also of course Leicester is home to Englebert Humperdink, Showaddywaddy and Bill Maynard amongst others. Oh yes Gary Lineker of course.
Anyway the way some people react to my act perhaps you could maybe blame these people who unwittingly get praise for me making a decision to become a comedian. Maybe chortly man could actually blame Alderson for the 'dated subject matter' and the 'phoney anger', not to mention the 'fact' that I started comedy when 'Susan Nickson that wrote Two Pints Of Lager and A Packet Of Crisps Please was starting primary school'. Good old chortly man, he loves my work!
He would have loved last night at Assembly. A low turnout and not a great deal coming back in terms of laughs, imagine what polit bureau tales he could weave with that one. As it happens they weren't too bad as a small ensemble. A few of them would be great to have as regulars, one or two were just a bit confused and this showed but never mind, I fight on and we're here every week. I'm determined to keep it going.
Right, a busy, busy week. A cabaret night at The Stand tonight, a rare gig at The Bridge Hotel tomorrow and then it's Cardiff Glee this weekend with Assembly on Sunday. I'm filming Wednesday and I've some meetings and other bits of skullduggery this week. So no I can't go collecting for Christian Aid/go on a march to save a hospital/write a column for a radiator magazine this week, I'm far too busy. There'll be another blog tomorrow though. Stay free.
TODAY'S BLOG IS SPONSORED BY THE PEOPLE WHO GRINNED THEMSELVES TO DEATH.